A collection of running commentary, newsclips with supposedly funny taglines that I write myself (can you tell?), and stream of unconsciousness. I lead such a charmed life. AIM: nloralphTumblr (3.0; @up-schist-creek)http://www.up-schist-creek.com/<a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/captain-wiener-busts-florida-couple-public-sex-escapade">Captain Wiener Busts Florida Couple For Public Sex Escapade</a>: <p><strong>Worst superhero name, EVER.</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1055546821http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1055546821Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:57:25 -0400weird newshumorhumour<p><a href="http://www.hoarr.com/post/1052743190/what-kind-of-person-keeps-maple-syrup-and-bread" target="_blank">hoarr</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>What kind of person keeps maple syrup and bread inside their fridge? My roommates are inhuman mutants.</p> </blockquote> <p>I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?</p> <p>Yes, Nick, I’m looking at YOU!</p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1053826669http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1053826669Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:15:17 -0400<a href="http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20100901/ENTERTAINMENT/100901014/1122/ENTERTAINMENT06/Foursquare++MTV+to+reward+STD+checkups+with+badge">Foursquare to reward STD checkups with badge</a>: <p><strong>Supplies are limited, so get yours now before they’re all gonorrhea!</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1050936457http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1050936457Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:04:37 -0400<a href="http://www.last.fm/user/NLO_Ralph/charts?charttype=weekly&date_to=1283083200">My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-8-29)</a>: <ol> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/The+Cure">The Cure (11)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/They+Might+Be+Giants">They Might Be Giants (5)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/Sigur+R%C3%B3s">Sigur Rós (5)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/The+Flaming+Lips">The Flaming Lips (5)</a> </li> <li> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.last.fm/music/blink-182">blink-182 (5)</a> </li> </ol> <p>Imported from <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://joelaz.com/post/23488847/last-fm-tumblr-weekly-top-artists">Last.fm Tumblr</a> by <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://joelaz.com">JoeLaz</a></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1045248686http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1045248686Tue, 31 Aug 2010 21:28:34 -0400<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7z3afUHr11qzptilo1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://notthatkindagay.com/post/1037350136" target="_blank">notthatkindagay</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/images/e434cebfa6/blueprint-of-the-ground-zero-mosque?=twitter" target="_blank">Blueprint of the Ground Zero Mosque</a></p> <p>(Tuesday night is ladies night)</p> </blockquote> <p>yay, a boardgame closet in the Jihad Training Room!</p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1039510120http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1039510120Mon, 30 Aug 2010 20:32:19 -0400<a href="http://therevolvinginternet.com/">http://therevolvinginternet.com/</a>: <p>It works, too.  Try googling something.</p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037219964http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037219964Mon, 30 Aug 2010 11:28:00 -0400<img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7mgtn6Vbi1qbgb2do1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://sirmitchell.tumblr.com/post/1029700836/it-is-dangerous" target="_blank">sirmitchell</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>It IS dangerous! </p> </blockquote> <p>(via <a href="http://stfuteabaggers.tumblr.com/post/1028638565" target="_blank">stfuteabaggers</a>)</p> <p>Won’t *someone* think of the *childen*?!?!</p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037147293http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037147293Mon, 30 Aug 2010 11:07:39 -0400<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2010/08/29/bc-surrey-temple-shooting.html">1 shot outside wedding at East Indian temple</a>: <p><strong>Police are Sikhing information on the suspected shooter.</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037104685http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037104685Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:56:10 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yyx8dnMi1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037011396http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037011396Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:29:32 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yywiXE4E1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037009973http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037009973Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:29:06 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yyvyPvkD1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037008723http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037008723Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:28:45 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yyv8T0nF1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037007222http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037007222Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:28:20 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yyugtoLz1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037005703http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037005703Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:27:52 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yytoY90U1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037003940http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037003940Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:27:24 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7yysrfqne1qznlrko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037002120http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1037002120Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:26:51 -0400hipsterdinosaurs<a href="http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2010/08/27/afghanistan_powerpoint_hater_fired?source=newsletter&utm_source=contactology&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Salon_Daily%20Newsletter%20(Premium)_7_30_110">Colonel kicked out of war for hating PowerPoint</a>: <p><strong>He was going to take another parting shot at the leadership before leaving, but ran out of bullet-points.</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1036957571http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1036957571Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:13:57 -0400weird news<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dV1hv6L0R74&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dV1hv6L0R74&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p><strong>It’s Mr. Bucket.  He’s got your balls in his mouth!</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1033325912http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1033325912Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:32:00 -0400<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7wizksmph1qz5s0bo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://livejamie.com/post/1029696953/hipster-dinosaurs" target="_blank">livejamie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://imgur.com/a/A379E/1" target="_blank">Hipster Dinosaurs</a></p> </blockquote>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1031418168http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1031418168Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:31:26 -0400<img src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7vw5eduHz1qztfojo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://hardcorefornerds.tumblr.com/post/1030263448" target="_blank">hardcorefornerds</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://velveteenrabbit.tumblr.com/post/1027419511/hark-a-vagrant-44-yeah-no-i-just-say-things" target="_blank">velveteenrabbit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=44" target="_blank">Hark, a vagrant: 44</a></p> <p><em>Yeah no I just say things like that sometimes.</em></p> <p><em>Seriously that book is going to rule so hard</em>.</p> </blockquote> <p>titled “Homage to the Road to Animal Farm”, i.e. <em>Road to Wigan Pier</em>. I just read a couple of days ago that <em>Animal Farm </em>was the first of his books to make any money, which is no great surprise.</p> </blockquote> <p><strong>I guess he didn’t think the book had a Snowball’s chance in Hell.</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1031384599http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1031384599Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:23:00 -0400<a href="http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/08/28/Mormons_Sued_for_Proxy_Baptism_Injury/">Mormons Sued for Back Injury Suffered While Baptising the Dead</a>: <p><strong>I guess it’s not easy dunking all that dead weight underwater.</strong></p>http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1025969831http://www.up-schist-creek.com/post/1025969831Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:00:00 -0400weird news