July 2009
21 posts
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-26) →
Cute Is What We Aim For (16)  Forever the Sickest Kids (13)  The Rocket Summer (12)  Fall Out Boy (11)  Paramore (10)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Jul 27th
-1 notes
Tired kids falls asleep more easily →
Same study shockingly reveals that applying a cattle prod wakes them right up again!  More grant money is needed to complete the research, please donate what you can.
Jul 25th
-1 notes
Woman attacked by bees following car crash →
The insects attacked after she bumbled into a bee farm, slight allergy to stings caused her to break out in hives.
Jul 24th
-1 notes
Bill Maher: Not Everything in America Has to Make... →
(via mattpayton)
Jul 24th
-1 notes
My Twitter →
nickwild: imtellingit: I give in! I’m still not on Facebook though. You. Faggot. I cannot even begin to explain how much I deeply despise Twitter. And not just the ‘I don’t care what you’re up to’ argument, there’s many other reasons (that I can’t be arsed explaining right know) why I wish it would die a death already. Lighten up, Francis!
Jul 24th
-1 notes
Whooooooa perscription medicine for anxiety and...
validation: Hi. We’re friends. Also, stop making me stoned. I was actually hoping to be productive today. Thanks. Mail me some, thanks!  :-(
Jul 24th
-1 notes
Serial masturbator seized by Willy's in central... →
Representatives of the Willy’s grocery store chain said, “He’s clearly a whack job, but perhaps he just knows how hard it is to beat our prices!”
Jul 23rd
-1 notes
Woman charged with assault for pulling out... →
Friends close to her think she was upset over new ink-work he had done on his arms, so this is just a simple ‘tit for tat’ situation.
Jul 23rd
-1 notes
Jul 23rd
-1 notes
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Walrus mates itself to death →
pterodactyls: up-schist-creek: As deaths go, this one gets my seal of approval. At least he died with a porpoise. On the otter hand, a whale of a way dugong. This will certainly give me pause the next time I think of saying, “Go Fuck Yourself” to someone.
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Manatee is Spotted in Chesapeake Bay →
Representatives for Rosie O’Donnell unavailable for comment as to why she would wish to swim there.
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Indian farmers fight bad monsoon with frog... →
Same-sex frog marriages still invalid in 46 US states, conservatives say it threatens traditional frog family values.
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Kirk Considers Running for Obama's Old Illinois... →
Unsure at the moment, as he’s still looking at the pros and Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans! of the attempt. [Tagline shamelessly borrowed from Fark.com, it was too awesome not to]
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Hot dogs could cause cancer →
I never would have guessed that lips and anuses from the slaughterhouse floor were carcinogenic.
Jul 22nd
Man believes he is God, attempts to rape local... →
Claims in his defence that he merely wanted to ensure the Holy Spirit was inside her.
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Walrus mates itself to death →
As deaths go, this one gets my seal of approval.
Jul 22nd
-1 notes
Man recovering after world's first double arm... →
The surgery was paid in full by the federal government, as all citizens have the constitutional right to bear arms.
Jul 22nd
2 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-12) →
Fall Out Boy (87)  Dope (53)  Eluvium (43)  The Rocket Summer (43)  Disturbed (32)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Jul 13th
-1 notes
Teen falls in manhole while texting →
City sez her own stupid 2 blame, OMG, plans to sewer.
Jul 11th
5 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-7-5) →
Dope (12)  Godsmack (9)  Disturbed (6)  Killswitch Engage (3)  The Rocket Summer (2)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Jul 6th
-1 notes