October 2009
15 posts
Is your pet at risk for H1N1? →
EVERYBODY PANDEMIC!!!
Oct 30th
2 notes
Man killed by grain conveyor in farm accident →
Had he consulted his horoscope, he would have known to look out for ill auger-y. (Is it just me, or am I getting more and more obscure with some of these?)
Oct 30th
-1 notes
Firefighters rescue man with finger stuck in gas... →
He declined to be interviewed afterwards, as he said he already felt fuelish enough.
Oct 30th
-1 notes
Oct 30th
427 notes
$500,000 worth of feminine products stolen →
The owner of the shipment declined to comment, as he was concerned that his comments could be taken out of Kotex.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
Windows broken, computers damaged in Penn.... →
Representatives for Microsoft were unavailable for comment at press time.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
Man pleads no contest to bestiality charge →
Says if he’d known there was a contest for this sort of thing, he’d have entered that legally, instead.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
Man charged for throwing pocket change at moving... →
Driver could have stopped on a dime, but was concerned the assailant would give no quarter.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
Too Fat To Kill? Weight used as Defence →
In advance of a possible acquittal, security for Donald Trump has been doubled.  Representatives for Ms. O’Donnell were unavailable for comment.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
Today is National Chocolate Day →
In unrelated news, Weight Watchers, SlimFast, and Plus-Size boutique shops everywhere plan a massive advertising blitz.
Oct 29th
-1 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-10-25) →
Battlestar Galactica (100)  Cold War Kids (75)  Cobra Starship (41)  Boys Like Girls (29)  Siouxsie and the Banshees (14)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Oct 26th
-1 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-10-18) →
Forever the Sickest Kids (21)  Cute Is What We Aim For (20)  The Rocket Summer (16)  Paramore (15)  Fall Out Boy (10)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Oct 19th
-1 notes
Hiatus is Ending
Yes, it’s true… I’ll be returning shortly (perhaps even today) with the usual daily dose of puns and asshattery.  Please stay tuned and do not adjust your sets!
Oct 14th
9 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-10-11) →
Midtown (43)  The Gaslight Anthem (40)  The Maine (27)  Boys Like Girls (26)  INXS (23)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Oct 12th
-1 notes
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-10-4) →
The Rocket Summer (30)  Talking Heads (27)  HṚṢṬA (25)  Conor Oberst (23)  Radio 4 (22)  Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Oct 5th