November 2008
80 posts
Driver robbed while glued to wheel →
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
Claims conservative upbringing, no interest in bondage activities.
This story really paste me off.
The man was found in his vehicle next to an empty billboard that read, “Place Your Adhere.”
Man arrested for not leaving jail →
Soon to be hired by Verizon as new champion of cell reception.
Driver robbed while glued to wheel →
Claims conservative upbringing, no interest in bondage activities.
Police stun naked DUI suspect →
Says it shouldn’t be a crime to drive stick-shift.
Dying Boy Makes Final Wish to Feed Homeless →
We’re not quite sure how many meals you can make out of a dying boy, but it’s the thought that counts.
Man arrested while decapitating a body in his... →
Says he was just trying to get a head in life; police stop him in the neck of time.
Oozing ink on fake bill ends pizza purchase →
Was refused slice of pepperoni at the counter, feit to be tied.
Meme: Who was the first you followed
kami:
Simple, who was the first person you followed?
Mine was the ever sexy jawed, Brian King
Yup, same here. BK busted my Tumblr cherry wide open, and never called me the next day. Bastard.
Teen kills brother over hat →
imtellingit:
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
forwhenifeellikesharing:
hoarr:
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
Parents say he was always brimming with rage, was fedora up with his antics and tired of constant beret-tion.
The DA says he will push for capital punishment.
He was also quoted saying “Derby hell to pay for this vicious crime.”
The teen’s mother has been unable to be reached...
Teen kills brother over hat →
hoarr:
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
Parents say he was always brimming with rage, was fedora up with his antics and tired of constant beret-tion.
The DA says he will push for capital punishment.
He was also quoted saying “Derby hell to pay for this vicious crime.”
Police on the scene urged the boy to admit to the crime and fez up already.
Teen kills brother over hat →
Parents say he was always brimming with rage, was fedora up with his antics and tired of constant beret-tion.
Carjacking suspect hit with turkey →
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly,” commented local radio station owner A. Carlson.
Terrorist takes comedy class in prison →
Critics predict that he’ll bomb on stage.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-11-23) →
Weezer
Sam Roberts
Bedouin Soundclash
Billy Talent
Eluvium
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
WatchA 3-yr old finger painting like you`ve never seen before.
Naked homeowner gives intruder a spray →
Scared him off with his 20-meter long hose, the story says.
Michael Jackson converts to Islam →
They haven’t told him yet that the afterlife is generally 72 young virgin girls.
Blind woman threatened with lawsuit over $.01... →
livejamie:
peterwknox:
markyb:
lifeofbk:
up-schist-creek:
Claims she never saw this coming.
Allegations against her make almost no cents.
Her argument is all washed up.
Says she still hasn’t seen the bill.
These are the corneast jokes yet.
Irisked it all on that one.
Hitler only had one testicle - war medic →
tristanjay7:
Medic confesses he gave Hitler the reicharound. (via planettampon)
I did Nazi that one coming.
Man assaults woman with sandwich →
tristanjay7:
snarkymcgee:
peterwknox:
livejamie:
up-schist-creek:
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
Authorities plan to charge him with assault and ciabattarry.
Onlookers were shocked by the clubbing.
They’re worried he’s a risk to re-offend, as he’s clearly on a roll.
He figured he was toast until he dashed to the Subway for a clean get-away, he’s my hero.
“Lettuce go!” cried his...
Blind woman threatened with lawsuit over $.01... →
Claims she never saw this coming.
Man assaults woman with sandwich →
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
Authorities plan to charge him with assault and ciabattarry.
Onlookers were shocked by the clubbing.
They’re worried he’s a risk to re-offend, as he’s clearly on a roll.
Man assaults woman with sandwich →
Authorities plan to charge him with assault and ciabattarry.
Spanish separatist leader arrested in France →
Authorities plan move the case swiftly, not content to Basque in their glory.
Woman wakes up during surgery →
livejamie:
Rebecca said she could feel every cut of the surgeon’s knife during the operation last month but was unable to scream for help as the anaesthesia had paralysed her.
Clearly this is not their fault, as the surgeon was obviously skilled enough to remove the Butterflies in the Stomach without setting off her buzzer and Red Nose light.
Dog helps Orlando kids learn to read →
In other news, Orlando school board concerned with new playground habits of butt-sniffing and crotch-licking.
Pregnant Man →
tristanjay7:
lifeofpaul:
You know, I was really expecting a lot from this story.
I think you’re trying to fetus a line.
Well, his first pregnancy was so easy, I expect he’s at risk of getting complacenta about the whole thing.
Penthouse in the market for a Las Vegas Strip... →
Ads will claim that they have the loosest slots in town.
'Meh' to be added to the Collins English... →
Whatever. I swear I invented this word more than a decade ago.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-11-16) →
They Might Be Giants
Art of Noise
The Dead Milkmen
Radiohead
Mogwai
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Bishop blames educated Catholics for Church's... →
Poorly-educated Catholics are still welcome.
11-yr old boy hits mom with saw →
Claims he was tired of endless circular argument, the jig was up. Mom is upset, but coping.
Mexico City to give out free Viagra to men over 70 →
The mayor is confident that the plan will help his numbers in the next erection.
No communion for Democratic voters →
Priest says president-elect’s support of abortion rights is an Obamanation against God.
Man kills goat as payback →
Prosecutors are unsure what the goat did to him to deserve such a fate.
China considers crackdown on lip-syncing →
In unrelated news, Britney Spears cancels plans for tour of China.
Man accused of stealing communion wafers →
Priest was forced to altar his plans in the face of the Mass murder attempt.
(Link and tagline assistance courtesy of tristanjay7)
Couple arrested for sex act on Virgin train →
They were taken into custody and advised to use the Whores and Skanks line in future.
Foreplay is overrated, researchers claim →
In an unrelated study, Scottish university sex research scientists shown to know little about pleasing women.
Leprosy seen in Texas and Louisiana →
Health officials fear that we’re soon heading towards a face-off with the infected.
In Flanders Fields
“McCrae’s “In Flanders Fields” remains to this day one of the most memorable war poems ever written. It is a lasting legacy of the terrible battle in the Ypres salient in the spring of 1915. Here is the story of the making of that poem:
Although he had been a doctor for years and had served in the South African War, it was impossible to get used to the suffering, the...
Armless man steals television →
hoarr:
tristanjay7:
up-schist-creek:
If seen, police say to not approach him as he should be considered unarmed and dangerous.
You really went out on a limb with that one Phil.
I’ve heard that this particular case stumped the local police force.
Ay, therein lies the nub of the issue, does it not?
Sarah Palin offered $2M to appear in porn film →
Unlike the Vice-Presidency, she might actually be qualified to play this role.
or
Alternate tagline: Film’s producers plan to MILF her fame for all it’s worth.