October 2008
77 posts
Random Songs I’m Listening To These Days #4:
...
Man accused of killing girlfriend's fish during... →
Wanda will be missed, but K-k-k-k-Ken is p-p-p-lotting ruh-ruh-ruh-revenge.
Man's testicles swelled up like footballs after... →
5 days later, they turned black and burst like ripe melons. And then it gets weird.
Is surfing the internet altering your brain? →
Nonsense, I’m the same pure and wholesome guy I was before the internet. Can’t you tell from these news links?
Woman arrested with large quanity of cocaine... →
Incident redefines the meaning of ‘crack habit’.
Donny and Marie Osmond Extend Las Vegas Strip Show →
Show continues to fill previously unexplored niche of all-nude brother-sister revues.
Injured pedestrian sued for damaging car →
In other news, Iraq to be sanctioned for stepping out in front of coalition forces in 2003.
Bees kill 3 dogs, injure 70-yr old woman →
Possible suspects include the hounds, the bees, or the hounds that shoot bees out of their mouths.
The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure →
Men everywhere continue to control their spouse’s blood pressure by administering Dutch Oven maneuvre.
Paris Hilton Buys Ticket on the Virgin Enterprise... →
Notable because you don’t often see her name and ‘virgin’ in the same sentence.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-10-26) →
Biffy Clyro
The Cure
Mogwai
Pop Will Eat Itself
Sam Roberts
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Random Songs I’m Listening To These Days #3:
...
Random Songs I’m Listening To These Days #2:
...
Denied sex, man urinates on roommate's dog →
Dog later said that she simply wasn’t in the mood.
Woman arrested for virtual murder of virtual... →
Claims he urinated on her virtual dog.
Students face punishment for 'Hit a Jew Day' →
The planned Holocaust Re-enactment Day has also been cancelled.
Random Songs I’m Listening To These Days...
New Zealand disability carer's "told to help with... →
Health Minister was reported as saying that he’s aware of the sticky situation.
Container ship collides with whale →
Ms O’Donnell has since commited to wearing more reflective swimsuits in future.
California opens drive-thru voting booth →
[Link suggestion courtesy of tristanjay7] McCain campaign counting on super-size voting option to catch Obama.
U of M study finds poor habits lead to poor grades →
In an unrelated study, waiting until the last minute to pick a study topic also leads to poor grades.
Chimp rides Segway in Daring Escape, Crashes in... →
The President was successfully re-captured and is resting comfortably.
Woman chooses jail over paying $7.45 bill at... →
Moran, or genius? Waffles are free in jail!
Watchkami:
Graeme Curtis - Drumming in ‘06 on Vimeo (via Vimeo)
I’ve been listening to The Cure all day...
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-10-19) →
Disturbed
Eluvium
Godsmack
Dope
The Smiths
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Christina Applegate speaks out about her double... →
Rejected headline: Award-winning actress stripped of her Golden Globes.
Creepy Gnome returns to terrify South American... →
Travelocity.com representative was unavailable for comment.
Police should turn blind eye to public sex →
Should this trend continue, perhaps I’ll finally be permitted back in the mall Food Court.
Really, iPhone?
shutupinternet:
I love my iPhone. It’s the single best cell phone I’ve ever owned but the one thing that kills me is the one thing I use the most: Text Messaging.
With all of the technology that has gone into creating this phone, why can’t the phone learn that I don’t mean “testing” when I type “texting.” Why does it keep insisting that “fuck” is “duck” and instead of saying “Oh” I just want to...
Northern Brit's hands have three times more fecal... →
Northerners claim it improves the taste of British cuisine.
Half of Britain under the age of 30 can't cook a... →
And I hear their hands are covered in poop, too.
The Commodore 64 Orchestra →
They must have picked games that only came out in Europe, because I didn’t recognize any of that. Bah.
Jam can curb cancer, says research →
Important news in the fight with the spread of cancer, preserving lives.
50,000 pound beast missing in Missouri →
Reward offered for information leading to the recovery of Rosie O’Donnell.
Leaping dolphin knocks woman unconscious →
Assault charges to be filed, as it was clearly done on porpoise.
Britain loses 20,000 cows →
In unrelated news, lines to get tickets to Oprah have never been longer.
Shark 'virgin birth' confirmed →
Shark sightings in grilled cheese sandwiches and potato chips imminent.
The guy next to me on the plane is so fat, I can sense him breathing. He boarded with a giant bag of McDonald’s.
This is going to be a long 4 hours.
First panel at BlizzCon
Me: *setting up video camera in press box*
WoW Nerd: Is that camera going to be there for the whole presentation?
Me: Well, yeah, I'm taping the event.
Nerd: I can't see from back there, its blocking my view.
Me: Maybe you shouldn't have sat behind the press booth in a hall with 5000 seats.
Nerd: yeah, but I can't see...
Me: FUCK YOUR MOTHER! Sit down!
My cab driver won’t shut up!!! It’s 6 AM, I want to just sit here, dammit!!!
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-10-12) →
They Might Be Giants
Eluvium
At the Drive-In
Donnie Darko
Dope
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz